How Prioritizing Your Own Nervous System Helps Your Baby
If you're holding a crying baby, feeling overwhelmed, or wondering how you’re going to make it through another sleepless night—you’re not alone.
Here’s the beautiful part: your calm is your baby’s calm. And this isn’t just a nice thought—it’s brain science.
Right Brain First: How Your Baby Learns to Feel Safe
Did you know that a baby’s brain develops from the right side first?
The right hemisphere of the brain is in charge of:
Reading facial expressions
Understanding tone of voice
Picking up on body language
Feeling emotions and gut instincts (hello, intuition!)
This side grows faster in the first 3 years of life (Chiron et al., 1997). That’s why babies tune into your nonverbal cues long before they understand your words.
-Translation: Even if you say “I’m okay,” your baby knows if you’re actually stressed.
How Baby’s Brain Builds Through You
Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains that babies don’t regulate their nervous systems alone — they borrow yours.
This is called co-regulation. It means:
Your breathing
Your tone of voice
Your soft eyes
Your gentle touch
help your baby feel safe enough to eat, sleep, and grow.
When you feel safe and connected, your baby’s social engagement system kicks in — this is the part of their nervous system that helps them feel secure, make eye contact, and rest.
What About Birth Trauma?
For many moms, birth doesn’t always go as planned. Maybe it felt scary, out of control, or even traumatic. These experiences don’t just live in your memory — they can live in your body and nervous system, too.
After trauma, your body might stay stuck in “fight, flight, or freeze” mode. You may feel jumpy, anxious, disconnected, or numb. This is your body trying to protect you — not failing you.
The good news? Healing is possible, especially through safe, slow reconnection to your body and breath. That’s where tools like co-regulation, grounding, and nervous system support come in — not only to help you feel safer, but to help your baby feel that safety through you.
You deserve support, not just for your body, but for your heart and nervous system, too.
3 simple tools to regulate your nervous system (and help baby’s development, too)
1. Soften Your Eyes + Use a Gentle Voice
Your baby’s right brain watches your face for cues. Use a calm, playful tone and relaxed eyes during diaper changes, feeding, or play.
-Babies recognize safe tones and faces even at a few months old (Grossmann, 2010).
2. Ground Yourself Through Breath
Try this when you’re stressed:
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds.
Let your shoulders drop. Feel your feet on the ground. Repeat 5 times.
-Long exhales help activate your vagus nerve—the part of your nervous system that tells your body “you’re safe now.”
3. Skin-to-Skin & Rhythmic Touch
Hold your baby skin-to-skin or place your hand gently on their chest. Match their breathing or hum softly.
-Touch and rhythmic sound regulate both your brains through the right brain-body connection (Schore, 2001).
In summary, you are not just "feeding and changing" — you are wiring their brain
Every time you show up with presence, even when tired or messy, you are building your baby’s emotional foundation.
You’re not just surviving the day — you're teaching your baby how to feel safe in the world. And you deserve that same sense of safety and support, too.
Want More?
Coming soon! Join the Postpartum Reset class interest list here
What to Expect:
Live, virtual class from the comfort of your own home
20 minutes of trauma-informed breathwork & movement
Simple nervous system regulation tools to carry into your day
Posture, core & pelvic floor connection work that supports healing
A space where you are seen and supported — even virtually.
Optional social support following class
This isn’t just about physical recovery — it’s about co-regulation. When you’re connected to yourself, your baby feels it too.
Need individual support?
As a Pelvic Health Occupational Therapist with specialty training in perinatal mood disorders and polyvagal theory, I offer the Safe and Sound Protocol to help women regulate their nervous systems, feel more connected to their bodies, and create a foundation for pelvic floor healing. Whether you're navigating anxiety, trauma, or chronic pain, this evidence-based listening program can gently shift your system toward safety and calm—so your body can finally start to heal.
References
Chiron, C., Jambaqué, I., Nabbout, R., Lounes, R., Syrota, A., & Dulac, O. (1997). The right brain hemisphere is dominant in human infants. Brain, 120(6), 1057–1065. https://doi.org/10.1093/brain/120.6.1057
Grossmann, T. (2010). The development of emotion perception in face and voice during infancy. Restorative Neurology and Neuroscience, 28(2), 219–236. https://doi.org/10.3233/RNN-2010-0499
Porges S. W. (2022). Polyvagal Theory: A Science of Safety. Frontiers in integrative neuroscience, 16, 871227. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnint.2022.871227
Schore, A. N. (2001). The effects of early relational trauma on right brain development, affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22(1-2), 201–269. https://doi.org/10.1002/1097-0355(200101/04)22:1
